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Search jokes for:   Category: Family, Parents A worried Father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship."I'll say he is Daddy." responded the girl."Just last nite he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves and if you two are easy to get along with." Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke During the Cold War many years ago, a young man would ride his bicycle every day from Italy up to the check-point at the Yugoslav border where he would be questioned by the uniformed border-guard. "Where are you going today, Capitalist Scumbag?" asked the guard. "To visit my mother, Sir." "Step inside. You will be searched" ordered the guard. The young man was thoroughly searched and released, but the guard remained suspicious.< . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Two golfers were discussing a bill that Harry, the hospital administrator, had sent to Bill, a recent father. "Harry, this is too much for the use of the delivery room. You know I didn't get my wife there in time and the baby was born on the hospital's front lawn." Harry took the bill, crossed out the offending entry and substituted another. "Greens Fee," it read. Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well t . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A worried Father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship."I'll say he is Daddy." responded the girl."Just last nite he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves and if you two are easy to get along with." Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off thelight when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, willyou sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't,dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:"The big sissy." Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke You Know You're a Mother When ... 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. 2. You have the time to shave only one leg at a time. 3. You hide in the bathroom to be alone. 4. Your kid throws up and you catch it. 5. Some one else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating. 6. You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance. 7. You've mastered the art of placing large quanititi . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Bill Clinton falls into a lake and cannot swim and three boys rescue him. Bill tells them "I'll give you anything you want for saving my life". So Bill asks the first boy what he wants and the first boy says he wants a Ferrari. Bill says fine. Bill asks the second boy what he wants and the second boy says he wants a brand new computer. Bill says okay. Then Bill asks the third boy what he wants. The third boy says he wants a motorized wheelchair. Bill . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke << Last Page     Next Page >> Send this page to a friend!