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Search jokes for:   Category: Money A philosophy professor stands in front of his class and fills a mayonnaise jar with rocks that are about 2" in diameter. The professor asks the class if the jar is full...they agree that it is. The professor then takes a handful of pebbles and adds them to the jar, shaking it so the pebbles fill the cracks and asks if the jar is full and again the class agrees. The professor produces a small bag of sand and proceeds to add it to th . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy; the barman replied, "Yes." So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." How much money?" inquires . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss. The brain said, "since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss." The feet said, "since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss." The hands said, "since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss." And so . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Things To Say To Telemarketers 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell thei . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke You know you're from Canada when ... 1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. 2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 3. The mosquitoes have landing lights. 4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat. 6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas. 7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter abov . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke At age 5 success is not peeing in your pants At age 10 success is having friends At age 16 success is having your driver's license At age 20 success is having sex At age 35 success is having money At age 50 success is having money At age 65 success is having sex At age 70 success is having your driver's license At age 75 success is having friends At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees." The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of y . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a f . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A san diego patrolman pulled over a driver and told him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5000 in a safety competition. "what are you going to do with the money? "the officer asked. "i guess i"ll go to driving school and get my license, " the man answered. "don't listen to him," said the woman in the passanger seat. "he's a smart alect when he is drunk." This woke up the man in the back . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona: Dehyd-rific! Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: (this was left blank--does this mean Delaware is too small to have a motto?) Florida: Ask . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke << Last Page     Next Page >> Send this page to a friend!