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Search jokes for:   Category: Religious An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?" Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no te . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke God was tired and worn out. So he spoke to St. Peter. "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?" St. Peter, thinking, nodded his head, then said, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year." God shook His head before saying, "No, too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back." "Hmmm," St. Peter reflected. "Well, how about Mercury?" < . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray. “Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.” Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple. "B . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by the hand and led her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you, Lord. That was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Ye . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man's voice call from the other side. "Hello? Hello?" Jesus replied, "Who is it?" "Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son," the old man replied. Jesus' heart leapt with joy and he called out, "Joseph?" The voice answered back, "Pinocchio?" . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said, and the man in the rowboat rowed away. The waters rose to the edge of the roof and still the man sat on the roof until another rowboat came by and another man told him to get . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Some favorite messages spotted on church signs or billboards, submitted by Beliefnet members: -Fire Insurance Inside -This Church Is Prayer Conditioned -God Answers Knee Mail -PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush! -Sign broken, come inside for message -This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R! -Regis isn't the only on to offer a lifeline -Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme -Wal-Mart's not the only savings place -The best positi . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figure . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his butt over by the holy water," said the boy. . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mam . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke << Last Page     Next Page >> Send this page to a friend!