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Category: School

Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk. Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher's lounge. Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks have even been seen grading in church. Real teachers know that sixth graders get hormones from Santa at Christmas. Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1st does not fall on a sch . . .
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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. "It has long been known"... I didn't look up the original reference. "A definite trend is evident"... These data are practically meaningless. "While it has not bee . . .
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This is a list of the ways that professors at Arizona State University grade their final exams: Department of Statistics All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. Department of Psychology Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Department of History All students get the same . . .
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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?" "Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days." The t . . .
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Back in those days, it was required that in order for a student to receive credit for a particular course, a card (listing of his/her courses) had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was often quite possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly. Not so, with this physics professor...if he didn't recognize you, you would have to repe . . .
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Psychology Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother. Sociology Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship. Archaeology One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up. Theatre "OH! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!" Biology "You just wanted to get in my genes!" Physics Both resign themselves to the fac . . .
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Following questions and answers were collated from recent British GCSE exams (16 year olds)! Earth Science Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspi . . .
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLY: Me! TEACHER: Why are you late? . . .
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"Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was." "Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling." "Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment." "Amy did not do her homework last night becaus . . .
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Mine eyes have seen the horror Of the ending of the term It has poisoned all my spirits Like an apple with a worm It's infected all my freedom Like an ugly cancer germ The truth shall soon be known. Chorus: Failure, failure, degradation, Failure and humiliation, Failure, failure, academia, The truth shall soon be known. I have listened to the teachers But the homework leaves me cold I have never done assignments Alt . . .
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