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Search jokes for:   Category: Children HERE ARE SOME CHILDREN BOOKS THAT WILL NEVER BE PUBLISHED: --------------------------------------- "You Were an Accident" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It" "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia" Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Little Josh comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" His father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama bin Laden," David says. " . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke The little boy walks into his father's bedroom and catches him putting on a condom. He says, "What are you doing, Pop? The father stutters "I'm going to kill a mouse, son." The kid says, "What are you going to do, bang him to death?" Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?" Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good." Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?" Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe." Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken? Little Girl, "No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe." . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE……God is watching." Further along the line, at the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: "Take all you want……God is watching the apples." Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." "Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy "But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap." Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly." So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"? "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." "Why is my sister named "Cornflower"? "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her." "And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"? "We were watching the moon landing while sh . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke Mom and Dad were taking young Billy for a walk through the park one sunny afternoon when all of a sudden, in the bushes a short distance away, Billy spots two dogs going at it. Billy says, "Daddy, what are they doing?" The dad responds after some quick thinking, "Why son, their making a puppy." Later that night Billy was thirsty and got out of bed to get a glass of water. As he walked by his mom and dad's room, he heard a noise and looked in only to find . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room. "Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said his grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!" . . . Rating: Email this joke Rate this joke << Last Page     Next Page >> Send this page to a friend!